Dark chocolate caramels are delicious confection satisfying youthful taste buds while fleur de sel sprinkles offer old salty dogs something to savor, a perfect candy to bridge the generations. This story may not be easy to digest but I’m sharing as preemptive strike against hoopla for Gen Z as we have suffered enough with Millennial myths.

Salted Dark Chocolate Caramel

Dear Senior Team Members and Industry Veterans:

Many moons ago during our freshman professional chapters, we were royal pains in the rear end but were delightfully unaware because ignorance is bliss. Without question, we vexed supervisors with no perception of how blindingly irritating our actions, the Millennial group in your organization comparably oblivious. In my experience, current rookies differ from earlier generations only by social media prowess, but Boomers are hijacking social channels with alarming proficiency, our youth have nothing to call their own. While the struggle to manage amateurs is real, our present novices are no more or less inept than previous generations furthermore it’s a waste of time to fuss over imaginary differences. The jig is up; Millennials are just like everyone else.

Tequila probably won’t fix your training issues, but it’s worth a shot. An extra heavy pour of Patron, in the glaze of our cake, will make reviewing your team’s last shop call scores a bit easier. The orange and chocolate are excellent carriers for the 80-proof alcohol in cake form and the ganache filling has been whipped into shape, which is more than we can say for your team.

Your training isn’t working. You are officially up you-know-what’s creek because your team’s closing ratios show decline. A decline? How can they go to training and come back less capable you ponder to yourself on the verge of meltdown. Your grandiose dreams of total market domination have been crushed under the heavy weight of nightmarish mediocrity.

The Gods have obviously turned against you and not even the sacrifice of your self-esteem will appease their wrath.