Come on down! Let’s estimate the retail price of annual performance reviews. Whoever is the closest to the actual retail price, without going over, wins the Spice is Right cake.

Spice Cake

Innovative companies such as McKinsey replaced annual evaluations with quarterly coaching assessments to better serve beginner and intermediate level associates as well as alleviate time-consuming and therefore expensive practices. In my experience, annual assessments are dreaded routine for management with outdated methods robbing employees of authentic feedback and organizations of improvements. While a harsh critique, an overhaul of traditional performance reviews is long overdue as well as an honest look the silent intimidation keeping an ineffectual tradition in place.

What is more comforting than chocolate cake? Three different types of chocolate cake from Cake Monkey Bakery. Mini malted chocolate, salted caramel and raspberry red velvet cake accompany a cautionary tale about too much of a good thing.

Chocolate Cakes

A True-ish Story

Once upon a time, a young bird called Russell, The Crow, would not fly. Russell, The Crow annoyed everyone. He squawked incessantly creating a terrible ruckus refusing to fly, get his own food or listen to advice. The other crows in the neighborhood shouted and pleaded for Russell, The Crow to fly. They flapped their wings demonstrating lift-off technique, but he said, “No, thanks. I’ll stay here.” And Russell, The Crow stayed on the ground for a few days until the neighbor’s cat ate him for lunch.

The End.

Our professional comfort zone is a misnomer in my experience. This phase symbolizes the antithesis of ease and moreover, a concealed impediment to progress and possible danger to our professional reputations. Refusal to leave the familiar territory of an outgrown position summons multitudes of unexpected challenges to our attitude impeding progress and promotion. Ultimately, we end up simmering in discontent, toying with concocted drama, a real threat to our respectability instead of forging ahead to the unknown.

Snickers Pie is the personification of greatness, in whipped cheesecake form, nestled in Oreo cookie crust and topped with slices of the famed candy bar. Excellence is a matter of taste, which is why we are exploring the dark side of disparate and sometimes dueling definitions of virtue. P.S. Devour Magnolia Bakery’s rendition of this pie in private to avoid awkward public display of sugar affection.

Snickers PieWhat is excellence? The quality of being outstanding or extremely good, further excellence is a continuously moving target that can be pursued through integrous action, being frontrunner in terms of products / services provided, meeting obligations, continually learning and improving in each sphere to pursue moving targets.

Evaluating excellence is a managerial nightmare for the well meaning but uninstructed. Mercurial interpretations become landmines of misunderstanding, the antecedent to costly turnover. Peddlers of excellence doctrine may unwittingly demotivate their teams when evaluation of work is confused for opinion of worth, the dark side of self-confidence politely overlooked as a non-work issue. While separating work from worth is every employee’s responsibility, employers supporting awareness will have an advantage with retention having less miscommunication to resolve.

I’m going to make him a cookie he can’t refuse, enter biscotti al cioccolato with espresso, a treat and story with Godfatherly snap out of it, or else advice. 

Weatherman Syndrome, fictional disorder poking fun at an annoying behavior rampant among management of stating the painfully obvious as noteworthy contribution while exonerating themselves from problem resolution. Similar to real Weathermen having no responsibility beyond warnings for impending downpour, their only requirement to look sharp while reporting the forecast, in the same fashion, management loaded with trite instruction, leaves us wondering where to find solutions after wasting countless hours talking in circles. Beam me up, Biscotti! There is no intelligent life form in this meeting.

BREAKING NEWS: Director of Sales implodes in furry after mind-numbing regurgitation of problems with nary a solution in sight.